Well, today was the first day since I started blogging again that I really didn’t feel like posting, and really couldn’t think of what to post. I have allergies, or a sinus infection, or a combination of both and it’s making me forgetful, tired and grouchy. I was feeling like I should post something more than another recipe, which would have been the easy way out today…I was about to post something quick and mindless and then it hit me…post about being Moody! So here I go.
Right now I feel like I have every right to be moody. I have this nasty stuffy nose, itchy eyes, a scratchy throat, and I feel like there is a lead weight sitting right in the middle of my chest. My lungs feel sort of scorched, whether from the congestion or the bad air quality I don’t know. I am very, very tired…allergies do that to you, plus not sleeping because you wake up every five minutes not being able to breathe probably also contributes. My house is messy, and every time I bend over to pick something up it feels like my brain is going to fall out of my eye sockets (sorry, maybe that’s a little too descriptive?). It’s hot outside. I have PMS and a sunburn and my dog has suddenly turned into VELCRO DOG, the amazing animal with superpowers that allow her to shadow anyone she chooses, so close that you can’t move without stepping on her. Also she’s developed the amazing power to whine at a pitch and resonance that will instantly throw anyone with a headache into convulsions of pain (oh, yeah…did I mention that I also have a headache? I have a headache).
So, I feel like I have sufficient reason to be grouchy today.
I have snapped at the kids, I’ve let some things go that I shouldn’t have around the house, I have kicked my poor dog’s fuzzy butt outside more times than I probably should have (not literally, my foot has never made contact with the dog…not in reality, anyway. I may have imagined doing it a few times).
However, I am struggling to remember that my mood is just that, MY mood. Everything seems sort of bleak and irritating right now, but that’s just it…it SEEMS that way, but this is not the reality of it. Far worse things are happening to far better people than me at this very moment, and those people may even be whining less than I am. I have to keep reminding myself, this is just a mood. My mood effects how I see the world, but the world is still just what it was yesterday, last week, a century ago. Make what you want of that (there’s some good reason to argue that this fact isn’t anything to celebrate) but at least I know that how I’m feeling today is coming mostly from the inside, and isn’t really related to what’s going on outside of my own brain.
I was thinking about how much mood and attitude effects how we see the world, and what we accomplish in it. I was thinking of James, 1:2….”Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds”. Well, I’m pretty sure that James was talking about more than just a little congestion and an irritating dog. Here is a simple, easy opportunity for me to exercise my patience, which is apparently a little out of shape. My compassion (yes, even to furry animals and whining schoolchildren), which apparently is a bit on the thin side. My persistence, which seems to have forgotten to get out of bed when the rest of me did.
Paul was plagued by getting scourged periodically and unpredictably throughout his later life. Scourging, in case you didn’t know….hurts. Lots. He still persevered, counting it as gain in his mission to let the world know about Jesus. He was thrown into prison and instead of sitting there and grumbling about the unfairness of it all he used it as an opportunity to witness to the guards he was chained to (hey, a captive audience!). Wow. I’m feeling a little bit petty right about now.
I’m not thrilled to be feeling miserable today, but I am glad that I resisted the urge to throw a funny picture up on the blog and not think about where my heart ought to be. I feel quite a bit better for having done it. At least the trials I’m facing at the moment are trivial and mild and temporary…a gentle and easy opportunity to work on my character, which could use a tune-up.